Abandonment.

Today I awoke with a list of names of once appeared to be lit up when I would previously glance at them for reassurance. As I look at this list now, I've noticed a lot of these lights have burned out and the ones that still appear working are barely burning. I'm tempted to rip this list and toss it behind me as I walk to separate myself from ever confronting a memory of any of those names. It's becoming an illusion, a predicted illusion, one of walking through the world as silent as if there isn't a choice at hand. I've yet to be thrown a reason to keep that folded, old and wrinkled piece of trash I place over my heart like any of the names on that list even want to be in such a position. Betrayal, abandonment, the sight of fading, these are the elements that exterminate the power and energy holding these lights which provide vision inside of my childish unguided mind. Now I roam in an abyss, I just continue on because I don't have the courage to break myself away from this state of feeling strung out so I toss this list and rumage through the world starving.....

Rewind <<

I never thought that within a blink of an eye that I would witness everything drop like a falling building. A what seemed like an endless streak of held achievements has become the ashes from an emotional fallout. It always seems to occur to the ones who have no idea, the ones who are completely lost. Unfair, unwanted, why always the ones who only need a simple point in direction? Now hit with a tendency to physically shut down an easily discovered solution these pestering letdowns. One more step is taken crisis by crisis to fall into the abyss of insanity. You then draw the conclusion, without desire there is no pain, without desire there is no depression, without desire there is no discontent, without desire there is no regret, so basic, so simple, so easily erased. Then realization's bitter chill rides the body like a bullet train. without desire there is no happiness, without desire there is no satisfaction, without desire there is nothing......

Submission.

Once again a duplicate of a repitive writing that is wrapped in apathy, just an excuse to drain the remants from a forever dried wound. This confrontation between mental negativity and positivity has drawn on long enough and I simply call it quits. I could not bring myself to continue to adhere to repetition any longer, the same story was once again written by an unfair author. Dissapointment has ran me straight into the ground but I have misplaced my motivation to stand up. Never again will I place myself in such a regretful and difficult objective, never again will I attempt to barge past what braces against me. If there was a way I could go back win I would step right up to it. From this moment on I will sit upon a peak high enough to become a sky-like color, anonymous to the common eye and silent to the ears that don't even listen. My previous task was something I was never prepared for nor cut out for the job. I submit my forfeit through regret...........................

Release.

I only fantasize to be an infatuate reflection, one that looks back with a smile and wears a shatterproof exoskeleton. I never plotted to be a pestering magnet, I just sensed a scent of brightening excitement. The surrounding problems never played a role as an issue, I hold an apathetic approach to them, unlike the common walking man I have an entire world of patience. time has been passing by and now it seems as if the movie screen has become blurry and worn out. Could this be sign to a next step or a letter ceasing it all? I can only wait because I am at a negative amount of options. I can make one promise, if this risk is taken it will not leave a feeling of remorse or regret.

Air

Who would've thought one could possess such a passionate spirit in the two palms of their own two hands. Of course one is ignorant as to how to utilize or handle this beautiful power other than to inhale its scent, to stack an inner colony of working class emotions. A desire to just head out to where no man is found, to exhale everything discovering what ability lies at hand, to connect inner breath spirits to the unseen characters ignored and ridiculed by modern mankind. A true feeling of peace and relaxation, the soothing sounds of the surrounding environment, the wind which populates the area's atmosphere revives tension on the soul. Such an exhilarating definiton of relief....

To Enlighten Starvation

Terrorism has taken over a peaceful area located on the south eastern edge, directed at one individual. No others are affected or even notice the mayhem rumaging around them, just that one person who walks with a permanent question, "Why?". When the terroist are truly just a imaginate scare created by the soloing walker himself. Along with that proven reality, the terroise is lead to just be troubled thoughts wreaking havoc throughout his brain. The only divison separating this victim from insanity are the incredible noises which enters his mind through a selection of six senses. The more sounds of beauty enter his ears, the more compressed the desired releasing becomes. Transporting to the north or south east islands appear to be a setting appropriate for the wander's burst. An empire is building and time is passing by with no way to hault seconds the bottled spirit begins to grow too large for it's inner cage day by day. He continues a search for one like oneself to merge, to form twoself, he finds clues, he achieves but something is always raising a barrier. Some sort of ghost, no a planned happening just continues to reoccur and this desparate child falls submissive by the sorrow. The un-fair mishaps tear right through his heart and he reaches that burning point of boiling. The travel to those side-located edges begins and once destination is reached, the breathing begins. He fell to his kness, looked upward, extended his arms, and scream "Break me from alone!"

Skruge

This land populated of dislexic knowledge is cremating my spectating imagination and is spiraling me into the well consisting a confrontation with a reflecting ghost. Shock overcomes any other thought or emotion battling to reach center attention to the mind. As if that one tale based on the end of every year is selecting me as it's main character. So I stand in place as this burden to those surrounding me and I am being taken back and forward to view choices, consequences and regret. The only difference in my epic than the famous written metaphoric tale is I've done no wrong, I have committed no act to where I should be smitted by remorse. A lesson in incorrect choices? I still have yet to find wrongdoings in any of my past year events. What appears to the first person point of view is maybe a relieving break-off from a streak of greying cold....